The Most Confusing Love Story of All Time
by episodicshadow
Summary: So, basically, every single pairing that you ever could think of in an HP fic, smashed into one. So far the pairings are HarryGinny, GinnyDraco, DracoHermione, DracoLuna, LunaHarry, HarryPansy, PansyDraco, NevilleHermione, and NevilleRon.
1. Chapter 1

The Most Confusing (and Angsty) Love Story of All Time

Written for Hilary, because she asked so nicely.

Stupid snow. Cold, wet, and it always managed to get everywhere. He could swear everything in his trunk was soaked through just because he had forgotten to hang up his quidditch uniform to dry. And that was only one time. Neville forgot everything, all the time, and yet nothing insanely bad ever happened to him. Hell, Neville had a girlfriend. But not the Boy who Lived. Not the Quidditch captain. He couldn't get a girl even if he tried.

And he had tried. There had been that thing with Ginny, which hadn't lasted long, and even though she regularly protested that she wanted to be with him, he couldn't do that to her. Couldn't hurt someone else he cared about.

Luna had worked for a while. No one noticed her, no one cared if she was fucking Harry Potter in the broom cupboard between classes. Best of all, he really didn't care about her, so there was no guilt. Then she had moved, wanted something beside meaningless sex. He understood, he'd probably be pretty pissed off if he was her. She went crawling to Draco, joined his harem of adoring fan girls. Harry laughed to himself. Everyone was part of Draco's harem. Every girl in school wanted a piece of the Slytherin bad boy. Hell, a lot of guys in school wanted Draco.

"What's so funny?"

God, was he still there? Yeah, Ron was his friend and all, but it was starting to get weird. Ever since last Christmas, when he had come out of the closet and been found making out with Seamus in the Trophy Room. Both drunk as hell, it was worth noting. But wasn't Seamus enough? He had been making eyes at Harry lately, doing all this crap that he guessed could be considered romantic, under the right circumstances. But he just wasn't interested. Harry James Potter was straight, end of story, no exceptions.

"Nothing. Just thinking about Ginny again."

"Well, at least you're getting a sense of humor about it. I'm sick of you moping around. Especially since the girl happens to be my sister."

"Hey, what about Luna? I didn't mope about Luna running to Draco."

"Yeah, because she was just a piece of ass to you. Come on, Harry. Did you ever really care about my sister?"

"Of course I did, loser. That's why I broke up with her. I don't want her having to deal with all my shit."

"Right. Or maybe you just couldn't handle the fact she wouldn't sleep with you, but she'll fuck Draco any day."

"Shut up."

That was the other thing that bothered him. She was part of Draco's harem, actually, she was his trophy girlfriend. Pansy was the official one, but Ginny…well, Draco liked Ginny the best. That much was obvious.

"You know it's true. I mean, come on. We're all having our relationship problems as of late. Neville dumped me. For Hermione."

"Don't you remember when you used to like Hermione?"

"Yeah, but I'm certifiably gay now. I can't go around liking girls. It will ruin the reputation."

"So who are you doing now?"

"Seamus, again. But….well, I'm always available, if you ever get sick of the females."

"Ron, Jesus Christ. We're friends, we've been friends since I was 11. That's five years of friendship. Count 'em. Five. Don't fuck it up by coming on to me again. I'm a straight man. Always have been, always will be."

"Fine, have it your way. But I swear, dude, as much trouble with girls as you're having would turn the Pope gay. And that's a fact."

Harry growled and left the room, slamming the door on his way out. Neville was standing in the stairway, looking slightly perplexed. Harry could see Hermione in the common room below him, definitely out of sorts. He was glad he hadn't come out earlier, otherwise he would have walked into a wall of PDA, which really wasn't what he wanted right now.

"Oy, Harry! What's up?"

"Nothing, Neville. Go kiss your boyfriend hello."

He smiled as Hermione went bright red. She had never been able to get over the fact that Neville was bi sexual, and had been gay before they had started hooking up.

"Harry, stop being stupid."

He looked up into a pair of bright green eyes, so much like his own it was unnerving. Ginny. God, why did she have to be every where he went?

"Hello to you too."

"Don't ignore me. We need to talk."

"Ginny, we broke up 4 months ago. There's nothing to talk about."

"No, listen, Draco and I…we're…"

He whirled around and glared at her. "I know you're going out, I know you meet up with him every night and fuck each other's brains out. I know you love him. Now, will you leave me alone?"

"Draco and I broke up."

She looked like she was going to cry, and he felt like the biggest ass in the world. He wanted to hug her, tell her was sorry, but would she get the wrong idea?

"I'm sorry. I know…I know you cared about him."

"He didn't care about me. I was just a piece of ass. Like Luna was to you. All men are the same."

He didn't think it was possible for him to feel any worse. Luna and him…it was a fling. Maybe she did mean something to him, but it certainly wasn't much. And it wasn't even Ginny's to judge. Why did she always have to get involved in his life? It was his life. What he did in broom closets was his business, not hers.

"Don't even talk about it. It was…a mistake. A youthful error on both our parts. It's over, anyway."

"You're such a dick, Harry. I don't even understand why I still care about you!"

And she ran off crying. He just stood there, rather confused. Of course she cared about him. He had left her. Why didn't she understand that no matter how many times she brought it up, it wasn't going to happen? They couldn't be together. That was the end of it.

He needed to get out of here. Needed some air, as cold as it probably was. He rushed out of the portrait hole, turned left and down the corridor. He wouldn't meet anyone, it was freezing out here. Who in their right mind….

"Potter?"

"Malfoy."

"I guess you've heard about Ginny and I, by now."

"Yeah, I have. You're an ass, Draco."

"So are you. What you did to Luna…"

"Why do you care?"

"Well, we're going out. Not officially, but we've been seeing each other recently…I guess that's why Ginny and I broke up."

"So you're just picking up my castoffs? Are you and Pansy still an item?"

"They aren't your castoffs, they're women. Or girls, or whatever you want. You can't just take what you want from them and then leave, Potter. Like it or not, I didn't leave Ginny just because I was done with her. We…well, she's still in love with you. I thought that maybe she would change. But she didn't, and I can't be with someone that doesn't care about me. It just doesn't work that way."

"Bad sex, huh?"

"Potter, stop being such an asshole. I don't know if you've noticed, but you know everyone around you? Yeah, we have feelings too. Ginny loves you, if you hadn't noticed. And you're treating her like garbage. Wake up, Harry. People care about you. It's not our fault that you have to deal with shit like Voldemort and your parents dying and all. Grow up and deal."

"Malfoy, you'll never understand. Your father is a fucking Death Eater. You have nothing to worry about. Everything's peachy for rich little Draco with his pureblood father. He doesn't have a care in the world."

"You don't get it! Yeah, I do have problems. My father's in jail, and YOU put him there! Is that enough problems for you? The world doesn't revolve around you, Potter. Deflate your fat head and maybe people will start liking you again."

He stormed off angrily, and Harry could only glare in his direction. No one understood. His life SUCKED. He had no parents, no adult that even cared about him. He had lost his girlfriend and his…well, piece of ass, he guessed. Even his friends hated him. Maybe he should start dating Ron. At least then he wouldn't lose him.

"God, Harry, could you and Draco have louder arguments?"

Pansy Parkinson looked at him with a mixture of hatred and amusement. Harry smiled. Finally, someone who he hadn't dated or was currently dating one of his ex-girlfriends. Maybe he could have a sane conversation.

"Maybe. He's just mad because he has to date my castoffs."

A look of annoyance crossed her face, and she walked toward him slowly. All too late he realized his palms were sweating. God, this was not fair. Of all the girls that could make him sweat, did Pansy have to be included in that list?

"I'm no one's castoff, Potter. Least of all yours."

"I…I didn't mean you. I was talking about Ginny and…and Luna."

"Ah yes. The blood traitor and the slut. God, you have such fine taste in women."

She was getting steadily closer, and he could feel his heart pounding. This was not happening. This was not fair.

"Who would you suggest?"

She was right against him now, and he looked down at her. She was pretty. He had never noticed it before, but she was. Long dark hair and big brown eyes that bored into his soul and held him prisoner before her. He hated that feeling, but somehow it was starting to grow on him.

"Well, I have one idea…"

He leaned down, and she kissed him, pressing against his body and forcing his back against the rough stone wall. He understood why Draco was so protective. She was good.

"Me."


	2. Chapter 2

The Most Confusing (and Angsty) Love Story of All Time 

Chapter 2: Never Going to Be Perfect

So was she his girlfriend? He doubted it. It was one of those weird relationships, nothing asked, nothing given. At least, not freely. They both ended up getting exactly what they wanted. He wanted sex; she wanted someone to make Malfoy jealous with. There were trifles, little notes in the hallway, whispered words of compassion and loyalty, promises they knew they couldn't keep. It wasn't love, but he wasn't looking for love.

She was somewhere between Ginny and Luna. Ginny was sweet, funny, and always ready to listen. Luna was, well, he and Luna had never talked. Pansy and he talked, not about much concrete stuff, and she didn't put up with his teenage rants, but hell, she was better than nothing.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"

He snapped back to reality with a cold thunk. Pansy was glaring at him, semi tangled in her Hogwarts blouse, lying back against the pillows of the bed the Room of Requirement had dreamed up. His first thought was that this room was way too cold. His second thought was that she was probably mad at him, but what the hell did he care? She was his girlfriend, or as close as he was going to get to a girlfriend. She gave him what he wanted and he gave her what she wanted. End of story.

"Why does it matter what I'm thinking about? Currently I'm fucking you, and you should be happy."

She sighed and settled back down into the pillows, regarding him with an air of superiority as she ran her hands down his sides and over his chest. He smiled and she breathed out, relieved. As long as he was happy she was happy. He wasn't an abusive boyfriend, at least, not like some of the others she had had. He hit her every now and then, but it wasn't anything serious. Nothing she couldn't handle. She was actually grateful to him, now that she was dating the famous Harry Potter, the Hogwarts scum stopped leering at her. So she could handle the occasional beating.

"I…am happy. I have you."

She managed a weak smile, and prayed to who ever was listening that it was enough. He had never hurt her badly, but he could. She had seen him get mad, and she definitely didn't want to be on the receiving end of something like that. He couldn't be much worse than Blaise, she probably still had the marks from that one. But he had a temper, and it was better to stay on his good side.

He laughed, and it was the hollow kind of laugh that made her skin crawl.

"You have me? Darling, I fear you're sadly mistaken. You don't have anything. Hate to remind you, but everyone who you've ever slept with is in love with someone else. You're just like a drug, or a beer. It's fast, it's easy, it's certainly enjoyable, but it doesn't mean anything before and it doesn't mean anything after. I'm certain people have been addicted to you, but I would wonder if it was you they wanted, or just the feeling? I wonder who really cares?"

He pressed against her, and it took her every inch of her strength to not recoil. Why did he always have to do that? Of course, he was Harry Potter. Used every girl, left them behind in the dust of his blazing glory. The Chosen One, wasn't he? The one who was going to save them all from Voldemort. Well, the Chosen One was an ass.

He gave her a pointed glance, and she remembered her job in all of this. Slowly she massaged his shoulders, running her hands over his chest and down to his waist, fingering the tip of his dick, smiling as he moaned with pleasure.

Finally it was over. She hated that sex was an ordeal. Yeah, he wasn't abusive, but it was all about him. At least all the others would at least make sure she got something out of it. Not Harry. He took what he wanted from her and left. Which, come to think of it, was what he was doing right now.

"You're leaving?"

He turned around and looked genuinely surprised. "Why should I be staying? There's nothing here, unless you want it again."

She was silent, praying that he would leave so that she could go back to the Slytherin common room, climb into bed, and hopefully get a few hours before class the next day. Slut she may be, but she wanted a future. One day she would be able to leave Hogwarts, start a new life away from the Malfoys and Potters of the world. Or, she would be, if she kept her grades up. Harry didn't want her to sleep, didn't care if she did well. All he wanted was sex. All he cared about was his own fat ass.

"Well, see you round."

And he was gone. Just like that. In the beginning it had been wonderful. Well, not wonderful, but it had been pretty good. He had been caring, almost gentle. Little tokens left in the hallways, just hidden enough so that no one else would notice. It had been too good to be true. It always was.


	3. Chapter 3

The Most Confusing (and Angsty) Love Story of All Time

Chapter 3: Never Good Enough

"You're such an asshole, did you know that? I mean, I come down here and pour out my heart to you, and what do you say? What do you say?"

"I'm sorry, all right? We had a thing once…that's true. But I've made my decision, and I'm sticking to it. My life…it doesn't have you in it any more. And that's not entirely my fault. Don't try to blame this all on me."

God, were they at it again? Ever since Ron had gone gay…well, Hermione had never taken it well. Considering he had been caught with Seamus while they were still going out. He and Hermione had grown apart over the years, probably more because he was still friends with Ron, but hey. A guy had to do what a guy had to do. Just as long as Ron didn't do the whole gay act on him, he was fine with it.

"You don't care about me! You never cared about me! Were you fucking guys in the Trophy Room the ENTIRE time we were going out?"

"Not…the entire time. Just some of the time. I'm sorry, Hermione, but you know what? I'm gay. End of story. I couldn't deny it any more."

"So you would deny it for everyone else, but not for me? Oh, that's rich, Ron. That's real nice."

"We were friends! I thought you would understand, for fuck's sake. It wasn't like our relationship was going anywhere…you're still a virgin, bloody hell. If you hadn't been so exclusive maybe I wouldn't have had to go to Seamus…"

"Oh, so now it's my fault, is it? Of course, just because I have morals and won't open my legs for every man that comes my way, I'm difficult. God, you men are all the same. Selfish assholes."

"Don't say that. It's not like I've taken advantage of any one. I never forced you, did I? I let you be exclusive. It destroyed our relationship, but I cared about you enough to respect your wishes. I'm not forceful like that. I'm not Harry!"

"Hey, Ron."

He didn't think it was possible for Ron to go any redder. Hermione looked slightly embarrassed, but she was too mad at Ron to notice he had even been upset. He didn't blame her, he and Hermione had drifted apart as of late. They barely spoke any more, though she had been there when he and Ginny broke up, oddly enough. And she did his homework for him. That had to count for something, right? Maybe not friendship, but enough misplaced shards to come up with…well, he didn't really know.

"Harry…um…hey. What are you doing here?"

"Listening to you two argue. You could hear it from North Tower, the way you two are going at it."

"Well, sorry for disrupting your sleep. Could you go away now?"

"No. I want to stay and watch. It's entertaining."

Hermione hadn't been crying, but that set her off. "Harry…you're such a jerk. This is our problem, not yours. And it's not ENTERTAINING. I don't know if Ron's having fun, but I, currently, am very upset. And if you two don't mind, I'm going to find people who really care about me."

She stormed off, and Harry tried hard to keep himself from laughing. Ron glowered at him, and Harry gave him a smirk.

"Oh come on, you didn't find that funny?"

"Harry, if you don't mind…we were trying to fix our problems. And you didn't help."

"Wasn't trying to help, so that really doesn't bother me. Come on Ron, you actually think you'll be able to work it out? You were caught cheating on her with SEAMUS. She's never going to forgive you."

Ron looked like he had been slapped, and a thought crossed Harry's mind.

"You don't still LIKE her, do you? I mean…you're gay. And she's a freaking loser. A bookworm. A geek. You don't want someone like her, she'll ruin your image. Go out with Pansy, or something, if you need a girl. She's always good for a fuck, just give her a five dollar bill and she's good for two hours. And don't let Malfoy hear about it…he's sort of jealous."

"Could you be any less caring? To hell with the freaking image! I like Hermione. Always have, and I guess I always will. And if you weren't such a freaking moron, we might have been able to sort some things out. Just because you use women and then throw them into a big heap, doesn't mean the rest of us do!"

"Oh, who have I used?"

"Luna? Pansy? Hell, you used my freaking sister, and when she wouldn't pleasure you with sex, you threw her out and fed her some crap about not wanting her to get hurt. At least you pretended once you were a nice guy. Now you're just a loser. I don't know if you've noticed, Harry, but a hell of a lot of people are depending on you. You're the Chosen One. Who's going to end this darkness and save the world. Remember that? Remember the kid that wanted to help people, who wanted to protect everyone? Who wanted to revenge his parents and Sirius? Remember when you cared about people? Well, you know what, I do. And I want him back. I want my friend back."

"Nice freaking speech. Too bad you don't know anything. People grow up, Ronald. And I'm not that kid any more. You will never understand my life. You will never understand how hard it is to be me."

"Oh yeah, you're the poor orphan, I forgot. With heaps of money, girls falling over themselves to be your next slave, oh, and did I forget? No matter what kind of shit you do, everyone will always love you. Because you're the CHOSEN ONE! My god. I can't believe you were ever my friend. I can't believe I ever liked you."

And he stormed off. Harry was furious. How dare he? How dare he say such things? He had no idea. He went off in the opposite direction, grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a 6 pack of beer from his hiding place beside a statue of a blindfolded wizard, and leapt out one of the broken windows.

This place had really gone to hell since Dumbledore had left. No one wanted to be headmaster…no one thought that there was anyone good enough. McGonagall had taken it over for a while, but she was old, and the stress had finally gotten to her. 5 months after being promoted, she had collapsed in her office. Pronounced dead of a heart attack in hospital, there hadn't even been a funeral. Just a small quiet burial that the students were never told about.

After that…well…Flitwick had tried, Slughorn had tried, but they had realized all too quickly that they were teachers, not headmasters, and the job had finally passed to a skinny little pencil pusher from the Ministry, Art Skellter. He was a shaky, fidgety man, who couldn't see without his glasses, much less run a school. Under his rule, chaos reigned, studies were neglected, and the students basically did what they wanted. Harry hadn't been to class in about a week, but what was anyone supposed to do about it? Most of the old teachers were gone, replaced by stuffy old men, retirees who had nothing better to do than lecture about the good old days. Before Voldemort, before anyone.

Ask anyone, and you'd quickly find out this war was worse than that the last. It wasn't just Hogwarts. Mr. Scrimgeour, the old Minister for Magic, had retired in favour of no one, and the wizard sightings in the muggle world were rising every day. Voldemort was bringing the world down, and he was doing it in style.

And what was one 17 year old boy supposed to do about it? Well, stop it. Duh. Like it was that easy. Find Voldemort, wave his wand, and all of a sudden everything would be all right again. That's what they all said, with their eyes full of hope. Everything would be all right again.

Didn't they get it? Nothing would ever be all right. After he defeated Voldemort, then what? Would his parents come back? Would Dumbledore rise from the grave and return Hogwarts to its old prestige? Would Cedric and Sirius come back, as vibrant as they had been before they had been murdered? Would all the people who had suffered be healed, and all the people who had hurt their fellows be struck down?

Of course not. Nothing would ever be the same. He had lost everyone who cared about him, why did he care if Voldemort triumphed? He would either destroy the one who had ruined his life, and live a tortured existence, or he would be destroyed and know nothing of what came after.

He took a long drink of the beer and threw what was left of the cigarettes into the plants.

"If I had to choose, I'd rather be destroyed."


	4. Chapter 4

The Most Confusing (and Angsty) Love Story of All Time

Chapter 4: Because He Was Gone

Ginny wiped away a tear and stared out the window, gazing at the ice and snow that coated Hogwarts. So much had happened in the last two months. It was almost Christmas…the first Christmas she wouldn't spend with her family. Very few people were going home this year.

She gazed around the common room. Hermione stood in a corner, clutching a pile of books to her chest as usual. She too looked like she was trying to keep from crying. Ron stood awkwardly at the other side of the room, looking up every now and then to gaze at her. Ginny felt sorry for her socially awkward brother. He would never have the girl of his dreams. Hermione would never take him back.

Around them, students moved in swarms, chattering animatedly amongst themselves, not even noticing the drama that was unfolding in front of them. Seamus was sitting at Ron's feet, absentmindedly tying and untying his boyfriend's shoelaces. Neville was sitting on the stairs, head in hands, wand lying beside him. How did everything seem so bleak, so devoid of cheer?

There were first years laughing. She could hear them. But nothing was funny. Nothing was even happy, anymore. It was Christmas. She should be happy, ready to get home and see her family. But she wasn't.

Because he wasn't here.

Finally the room cleared, except for the 5 silent teenagers that stood in a circle, all knowing they didn't want to be here. But they had no choice. This was the last time they would see each other. Shouldn't they make an effort?

"Should…should we start?"

Neville looked up first, his round face covered in relief that she had spoken first. Ron stared at the floor; Seamus rose to his feet and sat down on one of the armchairs. Hermione remained a statue in her corner. Ginny turned to face her old friends.

"Well…um. We all know why we're here…"

"Because we're doomed."

Ron's voice cut through the silence like a knife, and Ginny felt a cold shiver run down her back.

"We're not doomed, Ronald. Things will get better."

Hermione shot to life, shooting daggers at the younger girl.

"How on earth could you say that? We're fucking doomed. That stupid brat ran away, you're getting married to the enemy, and Hogwarts is closing. For good. How on earth could it get worse?"

Her words burned. Yet they remained the truth. Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, the Chosen One…was gone. Disappeared, without a trace. People said he had cracked. She didn't know. But he was inexplicably gone, and with him their last chance for defeating Voldemort and rebuilding their lives.

As for her and Malfoy…she didn't have a choice. They had broken up ages ago, around the same time Harry had disappeared. But she was pregnant with his child, just typical. Her life now read like a bad soap opera. All their lives did. So she had to marry him. Her father had disowned her, Mother was never going to speak to her again. No one talked to her any more. She was the disgrace of Gryffindor. But did it really matter? In a week Gryffindor wouldn't exist save in memory. It would just be her and Malfoy, and a handful of shattered memories. All that was left. No friends, no successes. Nothing to show for her life.

"Don't say that to my sister. It's not her fault that the asshole ran off."

Ron turned red, and Seamus stroked his hair soothingly. Hermione, if at all possible, looked even more murderous, and stared at Ginny.

"Is there a reason that we're all here? You were the one who called this meeting, after all."

She looked around at the 4 others, all that remained of their friends. Luna was dead, slit her wrists in the bathroom a week ago. Dean lay in hospital, having lost his mind to the Death Eaters, never to recover.

Memories whirled through her head, meeting Hermione, dancing with Neville, laughing with Luna. Cheering for Harry at the Triwizard Tournament. Quidditch games in the sunlight. Being Sorted. Dinners in the Great Hall. Waking up in the Chamber of Secrets and realizing, without a doubt, that her heart belonged to the green eyed, black haired boy who had rescued her.

"I wanted…I wanted to say goodbye, I guess. To you all. We're never going to see each other again, after tonight. And even though things are different now, we were friends once. I wanted to honor that. Our old friends. Those who are here, and those who aren't."

They nodded as one, and they remembered. She hugged her knees to her chest and willed herself not to cry. How she had wanted to say goodbye to him. To tell him that she loved him, no matter what he thought. That her heart had always belonged to him, and always would. That she would miss him, and think of him every day. But she couldn't, because he was gone.

"Is that all?"

Seamus looked at Ron, and Ginny nodded. Slowly everyone left, disappearing into the shadows of Hogwarts. She looked out the window again, at the bright stars, and wished for a world in which her friends would be reunited. She wished to turn back the clock, back to when they were kids.

It would never happen. She and Draco would be married in three days, and she would begin a life in the shadows. Bear his child, and be divorced in disgrace. Then he would marry another girl, one who would bring honor to the Malfoy name. She would disappear, as usual. Maybe she could find him. Maybe by then, he would have forgiven her.

She could only hope, as the tears finally fell, and for the first time, no one was there.

Note: This may or may not be over, if I get inspired I might do an epilogue. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, though I'm not sure any more if I like it or not. But the angst was fun to write, so.


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